-== QUENTIN OFF THE HOOK ==-

A judge has ruled that a lawsuit that was filed against Quentin Tarantino was a load of caca

"Somebody's shoved a red-hot poker up our ass, and I want to know whose name is on the handle!" --Reservoir Dogs

Just when you were ready to write off Quentin Tarantino as a Tysonesque brute comes word that a lawsuit filed against him--stemming from a May 1998 barroom altercation--has been dismissed.

If he did not hit, you must acquit.
Stakes were high in the case filed by Leila Mwangi who claims she was slapped silly by Tarantino while dining at a restaurant. Mwangi was seeking some $15 million bones in a civil suit filed against the beloved director. Judge Judith Levitt saw the case as groundless and gave it the old heave ho.

Quentin's own Wolf speaks
"The witness revealed that Ms. Mwangi's boyfriend, Barron Claiborne, a professional photographer, had admitted to doctoring photographs of Ms. Mwangi to make it appear that she had been seriously injured in the incident. This is a clear case of celebrity stalking and a celebrity shakedown. The arrest of Mr. Tarantino was an abuse of the criminal justice system designed to force Mr. Tarantino to pay money in a 15 million dollar civil suit which has been filed by Ms. Mwangi."

Quentin's next move: "Normally, both of you would be dead as @#$%ing fried chicken by now, but since I'm in a transitional period, I don't want to kill either one of your asses."
Ms. Mwangi and Mr. Claiborne are about to get opened up upon, according to the Wolf: "I will be discussing with Mr. Tarantino the possibility of filing a countersuit for assault, malicious prosecution and abuse of process against Ms. Mwangi and Mr. Claiborne in civil court now that Mr. Tarantino has been completely exonerated in the criminal case."

Best of luck Mr. Tarantino. We got your back.

--Steven Horn used to live in Knoxville, just like Quentin. Not that we boys or anything. I mean, we didn't hang out or nothin'. You know, I wasn't gonna come up on him and exclaim how I liked his movies, especially when he's with his people. I mean, damn, I do have some class.